I was lying in savasana on my last night in Barcelona, contemplating the end of my Big Trip. The next day I’d get on a plane to Switzerland – my second-to-last stop. I felt sad that it was ending, and scared for whatever was next, and I wondered if I’d gotten what I came for.
After traveling Europe for nearly four months, I’d visited nine countries in total, spending a disproportionate amount of time in Spain, to my surprise. When I landed in Barcelona the third time, it was because I knew I didn’t need to go further to find what I was looking for; I simply needed to stay still for a while.
I had been in Barcelona for three weeks but it felt like three months. I’d made friends, become a regular at my coffee shop, and found a yoga studio. The end of my trip sort of snuck up on me, since I suddenly one day realized I wanted to go home... and I kinda had to. My visa was running out, so I quickly booked a few final stops and cut my time in Barcelona short.
On my last night there I rode my bike along the beach, taking my time on my way to yoga. I stopped and dipped my toes into the sea, and sat on the beach quietly. I don’t remember a thing about the yoga class, except that I’m sure there was pigeon, and there was this reading at the end that made me cry.
I Am Already
by Danna Faulds
One flow of
Energy and breath
Connects the full
Depth and breadth
There is nowhere to
Go but here, no time
But now, no why or
How or maybe … just
This knowing, simple
And complete, that I
Am already what I
Thought I had to seek.
I lay there on my mat feeling comforted by these words, "there's nothing that needs fixing," and realized how far I'd come in believing them. I thought about all the places I’d been and people I’d met and beaches I’d cried on. I teared up, but I also laughed a little, thinking of how far I’d come looking for something I had with me all along.
So maybe don't feel the need to travel so far; maybe stop trying so hard. Whatever you're looking for, just be still right where you are, and exactly as you are, and give it a chance to find you.
If you feel like you're looking for something but you're not sure what it is or how to find it, set up a call to see how working together can help you find the stillness and courage you need to discover who you are - without going anywhere.
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