I. Am going. On VACATION! And for my favorite holiday of the year - 4th of July! I am so excited, and since the summer is already off to a FIRE-Y start, I sure could use the cool down.
I'm excited because I'll be visiting my good friend and her brand new baby (and her hubby); I'm excited because I'll be in San Francisco, which is a very cool place; I'm excited because I feel like I am due for a little reflection time, a new experience, to get out of my comfort zone and shake things up a bit.
I have been physically and mentally moving a lot these days, but I took some time this week to just sit and listen to my recent numerology reading, which highlighted my "shadow" side. Now, I'm not really one to go out and get my numerology chart done, but it's a thing my mom is into and she orders them for me from time to time, and I am always blown away. So I've been working with the same numerologist for about 4-5 years now, and although we've never met in person (I've only just seen a photo of what she even looks like!), she seems to know me better than some people I've known my entire life.
So the shadow reading is meant to focus on the less-than-ideal attributes, the things you need to work on. Candice once again highlighted that my chart is packed with 8's, an abnormal amount of 8's which is a strong number, and means I have a strong drive and ambition and "can do" attitude. Seems about right. The part I struggle with is softness, the feminine elements and vulnerability. My 8 drive is no bullshit, and views vulnerability as a weakness when it's not accepted. It causes me to burn myself out and reject my vulnerabilities.
But, she said, that vulnerability can be a strength - it's really all in how we SEE it and USE it.
What if we REDEFINE VULNERABILITY?
The interwebs say that vulnerability is, "the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally."
But immediately on reading that statement, I saw something missing - something HUGE. So let's try this definition, "the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of a connection, either physically or emotionally."
I mean, that first definition really only looked at the shadow side of things, didn't it? The negative outcomes? But everything in this world has the light and the dark, and obviously there is a reason people would allow themselves to be vulnerable in the first place. And it's no small reason at that. As Brene Brown reminds us, "connection is why we're here. It's what gives purpose and meaning to our lives. This is it." We need it. We crave it. We gobble it up.
We need to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, first. And what if that vulnerability can make us stronger? As Candice said, I'm not sure about my own power because I sense my vulnerability. It makes me think of this beautiful Japanese tradition I once saw on an Emily McDowell card:
In Japan, broken objects are often repaired with gold, the flaw is seen as a unique piece of the object's history, which adds to it's beauty.
So, this is what I'm working on. This is what I'm sitting with this week, and during my time away next week. This is what I'm trying to share in my yoga classes, and on my social media, and with the people I spend time with. What imperfections can I turn to gold? How can they help me connect more - because I've known for some time that that is what I'm here to do; I'm addicted to it.
This week's mantra
I am not perfect. I am enough. The two are not mutually exclusive.
Food for thought
What makes you feel vulnerable? How can that be used as a strength?
p.s. Call Candice and get your numerology chart done!! Tell her I sent ya!